On Balancing Love and Money: Guiding Couples Through the Tougher Talks

If you’ve ever felt like a financial advisor and a relationship coach all in one, you’re not alone. That dual role may be exactly what your clients value most. Our latest couples research confirms it: clients want more than investment expertise. They’re looking for a trusted guide who can help them through the tough money conversations that often touch the most emotional parts of their relationship. While those discussions can be challenging, they’re also among the best opportunities to deepen trust, demonstrate value, and strengthen long-term client relationships. 

Why Couples Disagree About Money

Our research shows that differences in financial perspectives usually run deeper than the changes in the market environment or portfolio considerations. They’re often rooted in how each partner was raised around money.

• One partner may have grown up in a saver’s household, while the other was taught to spend more freely
• Some may be comfortable with financial risk, while others lean toward safety and stability.
• For many, goals are long-term and methodical, but for others, the focus is on enjoying the present.

None of these approaches are “wrong,” but they can collide when couples are making shared financial decisions. That’s where you step in.

Your Role: More Than an Investment Expert

Many advisors tell us that working with couples can feel like being pulled into conflict mediation. Yet when we asked couples directly, they said this is exactly what they value: an advisor who understands both perspectives and helps to bridge the gap.

In other words, these couples are not just hiring an advisor for investment strategies - they’re turning to you to be a steady, trusted presence. Someone who can support both the financial and emotional dimensions of their relationship.

For advisors, this skill set can be a key differentiator. Many clients, particularly women, prioritize empathy, listening, and partnership in their financial relationships. By leaning into those strengths, you reinforce not only your technical expertise but also the human connection that keeps clients loyal.

How to Turn Insights into Action

To help advisors like you navigate these “marriage counselor moments,” our research identified three practical steps:

1. Ask about family backgrounds. Use questions like, “How did your parents approach money or saving when you were growing up?” These types of conversations can help to uncover the “why” behind each partner’s current perspective.
2. Normalize the differences.
   Frame disagreements as natural outcomes of different life experiences. By reframing the situation, you can help reduce any tension and shift the tone from conflict to curiosity.
3. Facilitate a shared vision.
   Bring the discussion back to what they want to achieve together: “What long-term goals matter most to you as a couple?” This focus on shared outcomes helps align decisions.

These techniques don’t just defuse difficult conversations - they transform them into opportunities for connection, clarity, and resolution.

Why This Matters Now

In today’s environment - where couples are facing rising costs, evolving roles at home, and an overwhelming array of financial choices - conversations around money are more emotionally charged than ever. Advisors who can guide clients through both the numbers and the emotions stand out in a crowded marketplace.

The Payoff: Deeper Trust, Lasting Relationships

When couples feel truly heard, they see you as more than an advisor - they see you as a partner in their financial journey. That kind of trust is what drives long-term loyalty, referrals, and deepens client engagement across generations. To learn more on how to engage and guide coupled clients, explore the resources in our Couple Dynamic Tool Kit.